Amanda Prowse

What Have I Done?



Kathryn Brooker is the headmaster's wife. While her husband spends his days disciplining unruly teenagers in the grand halls of Mountbriers Academy, Kathryn spends hers baking scones for her son's cricket match in a beautiful cottage in the manicured school grounds.

In the evenings, when her husband strides home to compliment her cooking and kiss her hello — ignoring jokes from their children about grown-up lovebirds — Kathryn Brooker is the very picture of a fulfilled wife and mother. Anyone who peered through the downstairs sash window at the four figures sat easily around their scrubbed-pine kitchen table would see a happy family without a care in the world. They would envy Kathryn her perfect life.

But they would be wrong. Kathryn is trapped in a nightmare. And she is about to do something to change it. Something only a truly desperate woman would do…
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    I will gather up all the little pieces that you have chipped away, hidden in drawers, swept under the carpet and shoved behind cushions and I will rebuild myself. I will become all of the things that I thought I might. All the dreams I considered before you broke me, I will chase them all.
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    I don’t know where the person that used to be me is any more. It’s as if I have become nothing, like I have been living outside society even though I am within it. My life has felt so inconsequential, as if it doesn’t matter what happens to me. I have become invisible. Very often I speak but no one hears me.

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