Bike Snob: Systematically & Mercilessly Realigning the World of Cycling

Charismatic people promise stuff, and hopeful people give them whatever the charismatic people claim they need in order to deliver it. You’d think that sort of thing wouldn’t fly after the fifth grade, but it actually soars even higher as we all get older. Sometimes it’s a movie that a studio bills as a hit before it even comes out so that they’ll make millions of dollars before everyone realizes how crappy it is. Sometimes it’s a bank that offers a loan so attractive on the surface that you don’t realize what you got into until the lead balloon drops on your head a few years later. Sometimes it’s a bike company or publication telling you a new wheelset or shifter or coaching system is all you need to close the gap between you and Carlos Sastre. And sometimes it’s just a fad, a look comprised of meaningless logos and attractive “colorways” which you adopt first and ask questions about later—if you ever question it at all. Cycling’s not for everybody, but at the same time there are a lot of people who don’t realize that cycling is for them. And even though bikes are highly fashionable and more companies are selling more stuff than ever, these people may never find it. In fact, all the selling and posturing is often the reason they don’t find it. Really, we’re all just a bunch of fifth graders, and between the Leibowitzes and the Ferbers and even the earnest pawn with a half-baked anti-litter agenda, it’s hard to know what to do. I mean, we all want to go to Great Adventure, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The big question is, who’s going to take us there? Well, some people will give you sales pitches, and others will give you helpful advice, but the catch is in the end you’ve got to just get on the bike and figure it out for yourself. Don’t be afraid to try, because you will figure it out. And you can get there by bike if you want.

even in New York City, where people steal the pigeons.

They’re usually hand-built frames, and they’re often older steel Italian bicycles, generally owned by the sorts of people who are really into wine. The whole “soul” thing is meant to distinguish these craftsman-built bikes from the mass-produced ones, or the ones that are simply more common. It is, however, completely ridiculous.