Darkside Zodiac: Virgo

What would a tiny-hearted, tight-sphinctered control queen like you want with a slippery, inconsistent drifter like your average Piscean?

You’d make an excellent lockpick, and an even better nonexplosive safe cracker (all those combinations to untangle).

Aquarius rising
Enigmatic virgin—no one is sure if you’re for real, or a replicant.

Your sin is Vanity, the lighter side of Pride.

You are never wrong; but you aren’t not wrong like Leo (who just isn’t, end of story); you secretly fear the possibility that you might be wrong, but will kill your firstborn rather than admit it, because you despise the weak.

Where are those legendary analytical skills that you apply to everything but your own inner self?

Brightside apologists claim that, disabled by chronic perfectionism, you are just as laceratingly tough on yourself as you are on the rest of us—only on the inside, where we can’t see.

Although you can reach boiling point instantly if your patterns are disturbed, you never return to 0°.

peevish, hypercritical anal-retentive