Eric Berne

Games People Play

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We think we’re relating to other people. Actually we’re all playing games. Forty years ago, Games People Play revolutionized understanding of what really goes on during basic social interactions. More than five million copies later, Dr Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing & revealing as it was on the day it was first published.

We play games all the time: sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, & competitive games with friends. Detailing status contests like “Martini”; (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like «If It Weren’t For You”; & “Uproar,”; to flirtation favorites like “The Stocking Game”; & «Let’s You & Him Fight,”; Berne exposes the secret ploys & unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives. Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original & influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful & eye-opening as ever.
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    Belching at meals or asking after another man’s wife are each encouraged or forbidden by local ancestral tradition, and indeed there is a high degree of inverse correlation between these particular transactions. Usually in localities where people belch at meals, it is unwise to ask after the womenfolk; and in localities where people are asking after the womenfolk, it is unwise to belch at meals.
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    After stimulus-hunger and recognition hunger comes structure-hunger. The perennial problem of adolescents is : ‘What do you say to her (him) then ? And to many people besides adolescents, nothing is more uncomfortable than a social hiatus, a period of silent, unstructured time when no one present can think of anything more interesting to say than: ‘Don’t you think the walls are perpendicular tonight ?’ The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours. In this existential sense, the function of all social living is to lend mutual assistance for this project.
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    These all have their analogues in conversation, so that it seems one might predict how an individual would handle a baby by listening to him talk.

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