en
Ramani Durvasula

Should I Stay or Should I Go

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Narcissism is a modern epidemic, and it's spreading rapidly. But how do you know if you are in a relationship with one—and, what can you do about it? We live in a world of romance and rescue, where many believe love will conquer all, and that the more we endure unacceptable behavior, the more likely that we can “fix” our relationships. It doesn't always work that way—despite what the fairy tales tell us. There are a few hard facts about pathological narcissism that most people don't know and most psychologists will never tell you. Should I Stay or Should I Go? uses checklists, clinical wisdom, and real stories from real people to prepare you for the real terrain of pathological narcissism. It raises the red flags to watch for and provides a realistic roadmap for difficult situations to help you reclaim yourself, find healing, and live an authentic and empowered life. Whether you stay. Or go.
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    Fitzgerald may have captured it best when he classified narcissists such as Tom and Daisy Buchanan as careless: “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.” Narcissists are precisely that: careless.
    They barrel through life, using relationships and people as objects, tools, and folly. While they often seem as if they are cruel or harsh, that is in fact giving them too much credit. They are simply careless. And they do expect other people to clean up their messes.
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    We are all good enough. In fact, I would argue we are all more than enough. The idea of not being “enough” is usually driven by forces outside of us. When someone says,“I am not good enough,” my response is,“For whom?”
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    You can take your life back, even when you are in a relationship with a pathological narcissist.
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