New Harbinger Publications

“When you wake up in the morning, and you’re already miserable, what do you feel like doing?”

can choose what to eat, how to spend our time, how much exercise to get, and what to make priorities in our lives. All of these will influence—within the limits fate imposes upon us—how happy or miserable we become.

The bias seems to be stronger (and flipped to the negative), however, in the depressed. The attributions made by people in deepest misery tend to depend very much on whether the event is positive or negative. Positive events, like getting a promotion, scoring well on a test, or learning to water-ski, most often receive external attributions. The miserable will say that the task was just easy or that they were lucky. “Anyone could have passed that test,” they say. “Water-skiing is stupidly simple.”

Your assistance won’t satisfy them for long. One helpful act will never be enough because their primary goal is to hold on to your attention and concern as long as possible. They don’t want guidance; they want you. Their continuing, insoluble problems are the perfect means to that end. Once you start solving their problems, their issues will proliferate faster than a hydra’s heads. Problems are the currency that keeps you locked into their EIRS.

s you become more skillfully self-aware and active on your own behalf, knowing what you really want, you will feel more competent and life will feel more manageable.

people in life as well who make you believe in yourself and feel emotionally safe. As you experience their positivity and unconditional acceptance, it nourishes your inner strength.

You are creating your life all the time.

And once you grasp the bigger picture about what children are here to teach us, you will learn from them in ways that you never imagined.

are taught by example to be afraid of anything you cannot absolutely control. But there’s another approach to life that we will explore, one in which you can take care of yourself and handle situations with acceptance and skill instead of panic.

respond to others in such a way that you don’t lose yourself.